By: Laura Terrell, LCSW, Tier 3 Mental Health Coordinator, Hall County Schools
The start of a new school year can bring a mix of excitement and nerves. New teachers, new classes, new schedules, changing friendships, and getting back into a routine can be a lot for children and teens to manage. It is common for students to have a little back-to-school anxiety. However, changes in your child’s behavior, mood, or daily habits can be signs that they are struggling with their mental health. As parents and caregivers, you don’t have to have all the answers. One of the most important things you can do is notice changes, start a conversation, and let your child know they don’t have to handle difficult feelings alone.
Mental health concerns don’t always look the way we expect. A child who is struggling may not directly discuss their feelings. Instead, you may notice changes in how they act, communicate, sleep, eat, or interact with others. Please remember that it is normal for children and teens to have bad days, experience stress, and go through normal developmental changes. One difficult day doesn’t necessarily mean your child is experiencing a mental health concern. However, it is important to pay attention to patterns that differ from your child’s usual behavior, such as changes in mood, school performance, sleep or daily habits, and social changes.
Changes in mood may include:
- losing interest in activities they normally enjoy
- being overwhelmed by things that didn’t bother them in the past
- withdrawing from family and friends
School-related changes can look like:
- school avoidance
- lowered school performance
- frequent visits to the school nurse
- feeling sick before or during school
Changes in usual habits may include:
- sleeping much more or much less than usual
- difficulty falling or staying asleep
- being extremely tired during the day
- significant changes in appetite
- having difficulty completing everyday tasks
Friendships and social experiences are especially important during childhood and adolescence. If your child suddenly pulls away from friends or family or stops participating in activities they previously enjoyed, it could be a sign of a mental health concern.
If something doesn’t seem right, don’t wait until you have the perfect words or know exactly what is wrong. Start a conversation when you are not rushed or distracted so you can give your child your full attention. It’s important to listen and try to avoid jumping straight into advice, criticism, or consequences. The goal isn’t to immediately solve the problem but to let your child know that they can talk to you without immediately being judged or punished.
Parents often want to understand what’s wrong because they want to help. But, it’s important to know that often when we ask “what’s wrong,” children will answer with “nothing” because they do not specifically know what is wrong. So, instead of asking “what’s wrong,” try to ask more specific questions. Some questions or conversation starters to try might be:
- What’s been the hardest part of school lately?
- Has anything been making you feel stressed lately?
- How have things been going with your friends?
- Is there something you’ve been worrying about?
- What’s been on your mind lately?
It may also be helpful to start a daily habit of each sharing three things that went well each day and three things that didn’t go as well or that you wish you could change.
If you are seeing concerning changes at home, consider reaching out to someone at your child’s school. Depending on the concern, this could include a teacher, school counselor, or other staff. School staff may be able to tell you if they have noticed changes in your child’s normal behavior as well, and they can also share resources regarding school supports.
Remember mental health is part of overall health. Just as we encourage our children to tell us when they have a stomachache, fever, or injury, we also want them to know they can come to us when something doesn’t feel right emotionally. The goal isn’t to prevent our children from ever experiencing stress, disappointment, anxiety, or sadness. Our job is to help them learn that they don’t have to face those feelings alone. As we start another school year, check in with your child. Ask about their day, listen without judgement, notice changes, and stay connected. When something doesn’t feel right, don’t be afraid to reach out for help.