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Reach Out. You’re Worth It.

By: Lauren Joiner Paul, LMSW

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to remind ourselves and others that asking for help is a sign of strength.

I know what it is like to struggle with mental health challenges, and what it is like to witness someone you love struggle as well. Sometimes the hardest part is not the struggle itself, but believing you deserve help and support.

My mental health journey began early. As a child, I struggled with anxiety, sadness, and feelings of worthlessness long before I had words for what I was experiencing. I learned to hide my pain, smile on the outside, and pretend everything was fine while hurting inside.

As I got older, those struggles continued. I battled depression, self-harm, and thoughts of suicide. In middle school, I remember feeling rejected, different, and deeply alone. I often believed the intrusive thoughts in my head telling me I was worthless and that I would never be enough.

I became very good at wearing a “mask” around others to hide what I was feeling. I minimized my struggles. I often thought, Why am I so unhappy? I have so much, a family that loves me, yet I feel empty and alone in a room full of people. I would look in the mirror and not recognize the person looking back because I was constantly trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be. I thought that I always had to be strong, I never wanted to let anyone down, and have others worry about me.

In my college years, my younger brother was diagnosed with a serious mental illness. Watching my brother’s struggles with his mental health opened my eyes to how many people silently carry pain. My brother was strong, caring, dependable, loyal, and always putting others first. Like me, he wore a mask until he could no longer hide his illness.

I decided I wanted to work in the field of mental health, yet I still refused to reach out for help for myself. Later, during graduate school, I reached a breaking point. I had spent years minimizing my own struggles and believing I just needed to be strong and focus on helping others.

But I needed help too.

I sought therapy, treatment, and support. That is when I learned something I now share often:

Asking for help is not a weakness. It takes a lot of strength.

Healing takes time and support. We are not meant to carry everything alone. I have learned the importance of reaching out when life becomes heavy, especially after the loss of my brother to suicide.

He continued to wear a mask until the end while silently battling an illness with no easy cure. He fought hard against the darkness. But like many people, he feared burdening others with his struggles. 

Grief changed me, but it also strengthened my resolve to speak openly so others know they are not alone and are never a burden.

If you are struggling, please know there is help, hope, and support available.

  • Reach out — you don’t have to carry this alone. 
  • Reach out — your voice matters. 
  • Reach out — your life has value. 
  • Reach out — you don’t have to wait until things get worse. 
  • You are worth kindness, even from yourself. 
  • You are worth care, compassion, and connection. 
  • You are worth holding on for. 
  • You are worth being here, just as you are. 

 

If you are concerned about someone you care about, reach out to them, too. A simple check-in can mean more than you know.

And if someone reaches out to you, listen with compassion. Sometimes one caring response can make all the difference. Often, people are simply looking for someone to listen to and connect with them.

To quote Brené Brown, a researcher, professor, and author who studies human connection, courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy:

“One of the things we do sometimes in the face of very difficult conversations is try to make things better. If I share something very difficult with you, I’d rather you say, ‘I don’t even know what to say. I’m just so glad you told me.’ Because the truth is, rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection.”

This Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s create a community where no one feels they must suffer in silence.

Mental Health Resources

  • 911 – In an emergency, ask for a Crisis Intervention Team (CIT) / Mental Health Officer